I have received the most tragic news imaginable; Yesterday evening, my Son Blaine passed away at his Mothers' home. He went quietly in his sleep. By all accounts it appears his passing was painless and very peaceful.

My daughter Mary is on her way home from California. I don't know what it is I should do. I miss him so very badly. I want him back. This is some horrible dream that I must awake from.

Oh my what a day, what an awful awful day. I could never have imagined a pain more deep than the lose I feel. Oh Blaine! My heart screams for you. All I own for just a moment with you again. All I own to assure you crossed over in peace, unafraid, and painless. How I miss your smile. I love you Son. I always have. I always will. You were my boy. My daughter Mary Carrice came by today, as did many, many visitors; Steve Scheide and his daughters Erin and Sara, my Brother Jeffery, Capt. Bill & Ms. Emmy, Jessica. Jessica brought along a car loaded with food. I do not know what this if for, but I am certain the woman will know what to do with. For me, I am in a fog. I go from a complete wreck, some sort of trance like suffering. I have had many many calls, and many many emails. These all help to dull the ache of a heart that will ever be whole again. The world has changed dramatically in a moment. It is not the same world I woke up to on November 1st. It is a much sadder place. I know I will never be the person I was just a day ago.

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